Review #1: Batman and Robin

“So I’m asking you, friend, partner, brother… will you help me?”

Batman/Bruce Wayne

People have their own tastes of what is to be the worst movie of all time. I do have my own taste what would be the worst movie of all time, and it is definitely is a Batman movie, but it’s strangely not this one.

10 years ago I saw this movie and I thought, “Wow this movie is fun to watch!” Then I found out this movie is to be claimed to be the worst movie ever made and I thought, “How tho?” I’ve seen other movies that bore me to death and make me angry, but this one I had no problem with AT ALL!

Batman and Robin is a guilty pleasure type of movie, it’s one of those so bad that it’s good movies. You would need to have a fun time with this movie, and boy was it fun. Yeah I get it’s not the greatest movie, or in this case a batman movie, ever made, but at least it wasn’t as bloody and dark as Batman Returns was, or how slow-paced and boring as Batman VS Superman was.

This is my perspective and opinion on Batman and Robin and how I enjoyed this movie. It’s also my very first review ever!

The Bad Stuff of this Movie

“LET’S KICK SOME ICE!”

Mr. Freeze

So since I’m talking about a movie that I enjoy, I think I should talk about what’s so bad about this movie since it isn’t getting away for being perfect.

So obviously the one thing everyone hates the most is three things: The screenplay, the corny one liners and the grandaddy of them all: the suit up, aka the Bat-Nipples. I will say, out of all of the production value in this movie that suffers the weakest would be the costume design. It’s like they bastardized the Keaton suit and made it more… weirder than ever. So yeah, despite me liking Clooney’s version of Batman, I definitely wasn’t a fan of the suit, along with Robin’s.

PUNS GALORE!

I will also admit, these puns are face-palmed at it’s best, but that’s probably the point since this movie relies on the 1960’s TV show. Some of them were funny like: “What killed the dinosaurs? THE ICE AGE”, and some of them are just bad like “THE ICE MAN COMETH!”, “COOL PARTY!” and even worse “Talk about your cold shoulder!” I… I just… ugh.

Speaking of the TV show, this movie heavily relies on it. The screenplay relies on it, the dynamic duos relies on it, the fight choreography relies on it, just everything about it. My main criticism of Batman Returns was that it was too dark and violent to watch despite being a decent movie, but did Warner Bros. seriously have to go all the way back to the 1960s campy tone? Don’t get me wrong I love this movie and Batman Forever, but the tone should’ve never been changed.

So for the past movies we had Vicki Vale, Selina Kyle and Dr. Chase Meridian, who did Batman and Robin have? Anyone knows? No, of course not. This lover for Bruce Wayne was just thrown in for no reason and no one to this day knows who she is or what relevance does she have.

Along with the screenplay, the writers made Robin a lot worse than Batman Forever. In Forever, he wants to be trained by Bruce to get revenge on Two-Face and wanting to become Batman’s sidekick. In this movie, he’s basically Batman’s whipping boy by being jealous of Batman not only wanting Poison Ivy’s love, but wanting his own signal and reminding Batman that this is “Batman and Robin” not “Robin and Batman”. It’s like the writers don’t know what to do with Robin in this movie but just make him into a crybaby and wanting the limelight.

There’s this motorcycle chase scene which looks like another project Vin Diesel should work on after the last Fast and Furious movie is released. Obviously, Barbara Gordon sneaks out at night to go join a biker gang to race against these jockeys, and Dick catches her to go after. It just feels unnecessary to be put in a Batman movie, or hell a DC MOVIE! I always skip this part because it doesn’t even go into the plot, but at least we get a cameo of Coolio right?

The editing of this movie is so bad it’s even noticeable. Case in point, if you watch the Poison Ivy VS Batgirl fight, you see Robin trying to fight his way out, but if you look closely his head REVERSES back to the ocean. What was the point of that?!

Also, the Poison Ivy VS Batgirl fight wasn’t that interested and didn’t feel all that great to me. 10 years ago I enjoyed and loved seeing them kicking each others asses, but I’ve seen better as the years gone on.

These are all of my criticisms for these movies, but the ones that people complained about which I was fine with were: the Bat-Credit Card, which I just found it as a joke product and nothing to complain about that much; Chris O’Donnell as Robin, he’s still important to the story but the writing of his character was WAY off and could’ve been handled better; and Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl, it was kind of rough watching now since it’s noticeably bad, but it’s still passable.

All right, let’s talk about the good stuff!

The Good Stuff of this Movie

“We’re going to need a bigger cave!”

Alfred

There are many things why I will always defend and love this movie.

For instance, the gorgeous soundtrack that was composed by Elliot Goldenthal, who also orchestrated Batman Forever. The opening sequence kicks ass and it’s wonderful. It’s also notable that it’s the first Batman movie since Batman 89 that the actor who plays the villain’s name is introduced first over Batman. Then again, Arnold Schwarzenegger was the hugest star at the time!

Despite a ton of awful puns, Arnold Schwarzenegger was still hilarious and fit the role perfectly as Mr. Freeze. The backstory of Mr. Freeze is sad, and Arnold pulls it off very well. It should be noted that Schwarzenegger at the time was doing comedy in the 90s so at least this movie didn’t hurt his career that much. People complain by saying he’s the worst version of Mr. Freeze, I just didn’t see it at all I thought he fit the role perfectly! Hell, he even looks threatening as well, you know before he opens his mouth.

NOW THIS IS BANE! This may come as a surprise but I actually prefer this Bane over The Dark Knight Rises’ Bane. Look, Tom Hardy may be Venom, but I couldn’t take him seriously as Bane, now people want him as the new James Bond? No thanks! Anyway, as silly as this Bane is, he did look very strong and threatening to the Caped Crusaders. He also looks more authentic from the comic books as well so there you go!

Now this a nuclear bomb for everyone, George Clooney’s Batman is more enjoyable than Val Kilmer and Ben Affleck’s portrayals as Batman. Yeah I just said it. What can’t be denied though is Clooney’s portrayal as Bruce Wayne, he definitely looks the part and fits the “billionaire” role. His motivational speeches to Robin and Alfred are heartwarming at best but one can’t forget the biggest insult that Bruce Wayne ever gave Dick Grayson.

I mean… come on! Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy was the best thing about this movie. She fits the role, the only one who takes it seriously, and GODDAMN SHE’S HOT! She’s probably the only who takes this movie very seriously despite being in a very campy movie. This scene just speaks volumes of Poison Ivy herself and it’s just… oh my god I can’t even explain it, this clip just says it all.

The Bruce and Alfred scenes are so well done. Michael Gough gives it his all as it’s his last ever performance as Alfred. Even with the stakes being high of whether Alfred would be living or not. No one can imagine Alfred dying in a Batman movie. Clooney and Gough’s chemistry in this movie is great, definitely reminds me of when Keaton was Bruce Wayne.

The climax is what makes this movie, the fight between Batman and Mr. Freeze is hilarious as hell, Gotham in danger for being frozen in 11 minutes was actually nerve-wracking to watch believe it or not, the ice bombs looked cool and the special effects, especially on the ice cannon, looked very good especially for it’s time.

Can I just say, how nice we finally see the villains to be put in Arkham Asylum other than die like in the other films? This was also Mr. Freeze at his best and what he should’ve been in the movie despite being hilarious. He said it best “Winter has come at last.” Poison Ivy also looked very scared-shitless after seeing Mr. Freeze all pissed off.

Finally we have the ending. Despite Batman Continues and Batman Unchained being cancelled, this movie ended on a high note and ALFRED SURVIVES! It’s so great to see that the medicine worked on Alfred and Batgirl joining the Bat-Family made it all exciting. The bombastic music made it all better. Seeing Batman, Robin and Batgirl running together one more time makes it all bittersweet that there would be no more Batman films, well not until 8 years.

Conclusion

Look, this movie is not perfect, but it’s yet far from being horrible. This movie does have redeeming qualities and it’s still entertaining as hell. Like I said it’s a so bad it’s good movie. There’s even fans of this movie. The tone should’ve been different, the writing and one liners should’ve been better, but you can’t deny the casting and entertainment value is set high. It’s a movie not to be taken seriously and have a fun time with. I love this movie and I’m not ashamed of it. I’m not saying it’s a masterpiece, it’s not the greatest movie of all time, it’s not the worst movie of all time, and it’s not the best Batman movie of all time. It’s enjoyable and fun. I would watch this movie over and over again. I love it because The Dark Knight Trilogy would roll around in 2005 and it’s all thanks to this movie.

I give Batman and Robin a 7/10. A flawed mess of a movie, but still saved with a lot of redeeming factors.

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